Monday, July 21, 2008

Catholics use Pope as excuse to "get it on!"

In a case of totally misreported figures, many sites on the interwebtube are saying that due to the huge influx of pilgrims to Sydney this month, the sex industry would have a bumper year. This is of course alluding to the fact that some travellers who have come to see the man in a dress have taken the opportunity of being on a road trip with their buddies, to score some cheap hookers and party till dawn. While its a pretty funny story, its total crap unfortunately - yet another case of the media taking a statistical fact and tying it to an event that is only linked to it by being in the same year. But that does not stop us having a bloody good laugh about it.

The actual report that these bogus news items are based on is a report done by IBISWorld for the Aussie sex industry. In it they show a prediction that there will be an increase of earnings from brothels for the 2008-2009 year, due to an increase in tourist numbers. IBIS World senior industry analyst Ed Butler said the report did not suggest the 225,000 international pilgrims or clergy would be heading to brothels or strip clubs.

But I bet a few did - can you seriously convince anyone that of 225,000 people not a single one took the "what goes on tour, stays on tour" excuse to sample a bit of Kings Cross night life? And I'm not necessarily talking about getting it on in some shady den with ladies of the night - no, just visiting a strip club would be probably more likely.

"Ah yes brother, I'm just stepping out for a midnight stroll"

SHOCK HEADLINE : Pope Caught Stuffing Bucks into Strippers G-String!
When asked for a statement the Vatican said it was investigating a miracle claim that one of the dancers could heal with touch. When this reporter asked "touch with what?" there was no answer forthcoming.

Ok ok - its a cheap shot. But I think one of the funniest, and most ironic things is all the security around the pontiff while he's busy waving at his desperate fools followers, and the speed at which he travels past waving - he moves so fast it could be anyone in there! I saw a news report where several of the sheep believers were a tad miffed because he tore around a parade route at about 60kph.

"Was that him mummy or was that batman?"
"I dont know dear - they both wear costumes so it could have been either"

But why the desperate need for all the dudes in sunglasses surrounding the pope in his pedalo popemobile? Who are they afraid of? Yeah I know someone shot the PJP2 (sounds like a rapper handle) but the point I make is that it isn't radical atheist extremists, bent on taking down the church. It isn't pro-evolution Darwinian rebels, taking the fight to the holy city (they're back and they're discussing things rationally). Nor is it internet bloggers, who couldn't get off their fat butts if they were paid to.....hey hang on!

No - the three main attempts (my Wiki-fu is strong on this one!) on the man in the dresses life were a politically funded terrorist named Mehmet Ali Ağca, a right wing extremist preist Juan María Fernández y Krohn who didn't like the reforms in the church, and Al-Qaeda, who funded a Filipino plot to blow up a suicide bomber dressed like a priest. The latter sounds a bit fishy as I think Al Qaeda have been blamed for everything from the 9/11 bombing to the clothes pegs being blown off the line at night (curse you Al Qaeda!). Either way, we have 1 politically motivated attack, 1 from an alternate religion and 1 from within the same church - who is he afraid of? His own worshippers, worshippers of other religions and governments who don't like the things he says. Very typical of a dictatorship style powerbase don't you think? And Saddam Hussein always wore long flowing white robes. And what about Ayatollah Khomeini?

Anyhoo, its all over now - the pontiff has left the Australian continent. Exit stage right. Shows over folks, time to leave the flag waving, praying, and cheap hookers for another 3 or 4 years or so. Goodnight and dogbless.

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